Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Tom Boys
The modern world has evaded this educational establishment. The furniture, the uniforms and the management seem to be in a 1950’s time warp. They all come from that post war age of make-do-and-mend when, even though things were a bit crap, they had to be put up with, after all, you have to be grateful for small mercies. I assume that all nuns have to compulsorily live by such an ethos, as well as chastity, other wise they wouldn’t be such a bunch of sour faced old trouts! This means that the drabness of the classrooms is not unlike cold prison cells, all discoloured ceramic tiles and rickety, flakey veneered, dark wood tables. The school uniform brings back memories of those days when ‘easycare’ on washing instructions hadn’t been invented. The white, primness of the summer dress with its buttons up the back, high waist and pleats running length wise over the bust makes the black and white pre war footage of the young Princess Elizabeth and Margaret look almost racy. The white socks which, as per school rules, must be mid-calf length, serve to make the legs look stumpy. I am not sure if it’s a rule or not but it does seem that shaving the legs is not allowed as, after some brief research, I have discovered a fair coverage on some of the older students.
After some further research into local school uniforms (watching girls on the bus going home) I am forced to come to the conclusion that all schools use the uniform as a weapon against their students. It serves no other purpose than to make each pupil look completely ridiculous as it has no connection whatsoever with what young people wear in normal situations these days. Go into any fashion shop that caters for the young. Do you find dull, drab clothes made from fabric that shows every speck of dirty, is very difficult to keep white and impossible to iron? No, its full of colour and fun and dare I say practical items. Practical in that its easy to wash and dry and very easy to iron.
I use the word ‘weapon’ because in my school the uniform is merely a stick to beat the students with. There is so much that they can get wrong it seems as if the powers that be, who designed the school uniform, thought up as many idiosyncrasies as possible so that it is inevitable that each day many students will break the uniform rules, be challenged on the corridor and issued a warning to the effect that they will be killed unless they abide by the rules. I might just have exaggerated a little about the killing part?
Of course the school is all girls so, therefore, we have no male students who would inevitably fall victim to the uniform rules and who would constantly have their shirts untucked, ties undone and no doubt have hair that was not of the regulation length. But it seems that to make up for the lack of male hormones around the place some of the girls can’t help but act in a boyish way. Yes gentle reader, we have lesbians in our midst.
Statistically having a mixture of sexuality in a single gender establishment is inevitable. In this modern, free thinking world where gay marriage is possible in certain countries, it is no surprise that the population of an all girl’s school would include some lesbians. But apparently this has come as a massive shock to the Big Sis herself. After a phone call of complaint from one parent who told of ‘tom boys’ at the school. Girls sitting too close together, girls sharing a little too much. She needed to come up with a cunning plan to stem such slanderous gossip for fear of damaging the reputation of the school and the wrath of God! After a great deal of thought and after considering this very awkward problem for some time she eventually came up with some helpful advice for all staff. She waited for a staff meeting and then announced that if staff saw students acting in a boyish way then the staff would need to remind that student to act ‘in a more feminine way’. That was it! That was the advice given to a group of professionals on how to cope with young girls who are obviously having a dilemma coming to terms with their sexuality. What’s the date again?
After some further research into local school uniforms (watching girls on the bus going home) I am forced to come to the conclusion that all schools use the uniform as a weapon against their students. It serves no other purpose than to make each pupil look completely ridiculous as it has no connection whatsoever with what young people wear in normal situations these days. Go into any fashion shop that caters for the young. Do you find dull, drab clothes made from fabric that shows every speck of dirty, is very difficult to keep white and impossible to iron? No, its full of colour and fun and dare I say practical items. Practical in that its easy to wash and dry and very easy to iron.
I use the word ‘weapon’ because in my school the uniform is merely a stick to beat the students with. There is so much that they can get wrong it seems as if the powers that be, who designed the school uniform, thought up as many idiosyncrasies as possible so that it is inevitable that each day many students will break the uniform rules, be challenged on the corridor and issued a warning to the effect that they will be killed unless they abide by the rules. I might just have exaggerated a little about the killing part?
Of course the school is all girls so, therefore, we have no male students who would inevitably fall victim to the uniform rules and who would constantly have their shirts untucked, ties undone and no doubt have hair that was not of the regulation length. But it seems that to make up for the lack of male hormones around the place some of the girls can’t help but act in a boyish way. Yes gentle reader, we have lesbians in our midst.
Statistically having a mixture of sexuality in a single gender establishment is inevitable. In this modern, free thinking world where gay marriage is possible in certain countries, it is no surprise that the population of an all girl’s school would include some lesbians. But apparently this has come as a massive shock to the Big Sis herself. After a phone call of complaint from one parent who told of ‘tom boys’ at the school. Girls sitting too close together, girls sharing a little too much. She needed to come up with a cunning plan to stem such slanderous gossip for fear of damaging the reputation of the school and the wrath of God! After a great deal of thought and after considering this very awkward problem for some time she eventually came up with some helpful advice for all staff. She waited for a staff meeting and then announced that if staff saw students acting in a boyish way then the staff would need to remind that student to act ‘in a more feminine way’. That was it! That was the advice given to a group of professionals on how to cope with young girls who are obviously having a dilemma coming to terms with their sexuality. What’s the date again?
